


Draco Was A Coward, But Pansy Would Protect Him (Even From Himself)

by QueenKatelynTheAristocrat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 01:26:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11933439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat/pseuds/QueenKatelynTheAristocrat
Summary: "She loved him like a brother, a childhood best friend, a partner in crime. She loved him, and so she took care of him. That was just the way it was.Pansy went with him to the Yule Ball. She held his hand in the hallways. They went to Madame Puddifoot’s on Hogsmeade weekends. But she was not Draco’s girlfriend. And Draco was not her boyfriend. But their parents sure thought they were together.Hell Pansy even would have married the exasperating blonde boy, just to make sure his father never did what he threatened. But, because she loved him, and because she knew he was a coward, she couldn't possibly let him use her as an easy way out."





	Draco Was A Coward, But Pansy Would Protect Him (Even From Himself)

Pansy always knew that her Draco was a coward. And she was always the one forced to protect him from himself, from his father, from the world. She watched over him, and he remained oblivious to her careful attentions, always burning in a fiery ball of rampant self destruction. But Pansy loved him anyway. 

   No, not like a lover. She loved him like a brother, a childhood best friend, a partner in crime. She loved him, and so she took care of him. That was just the way it was. 

   Pansy went with him to the Yule Ball. She held his hand in the hallways. They went to Madame Puddifoot’s on Hogsmeade weekends. But she was not Draco’s girlfriend. And Draco was not her boyfriend. But their parents sure thought they were together. 

   Hell Pansy even would have married the exasperating blonde boy, just to make sure his father never did what he threatened. But, because she loved him, and because she knew he was a coward, she couldn't possibly let him use her as an easy way out. 

   Just to be clear, she would let him use her a million times. That's what you do for your friends. He would do the same for her. Slytherin honor and Slytherin pride. If one thing about them was always true it was that you made sacrifices for your fellow Slytherins. Always and forever. 

   But Pansy had the strangest feeling that Draco would marry her, and he would be making a sacrifice as well. An unnecessary one that reeked of unrealized opportunities and bitter regret, rather than honor and valour. And Pansy had sworn to save the boy from everything that threatened him, even himself. 

   One night her suspicions were confirmed. It was late; the common room was deserted. Pansy liked to watch the bio-luminescent fish swim past the glass wall in the dungeons whenever she couldn't sleep. They seemed to hypnotize her mind, forcing her to think of nothing, and keep her company at the same time. 

   And so, there she sat that night in her favorite oversized arm chair in front of the fire, all curled up with a blanket, just watching the fish and thinking of nothing, when Draco tore violently down the stairs to the boys dorm, disrupting Pansy’s peace and setting the fish scurrying into a terrified retreat. Pansy sighed in fond resignation as Draco noticed her and made a beeline in her direction. 

   She silently scooted over to one side of her chair as he approached, and he silently squeezed in next to her, stealing half of her blanket and resting his head on her shoulder. No one else got to see this side of her Draco, the real person beneath the snarling veneer of pureblood terror and tyranny. What she saw was not Draco Malfoy the Slytherin Ice Prince, but Draco, merely a grown version of the secretly sweet, and actually rather earnest, blonde boy she'd known before his father's influence drove him into hiding. 

   Draco said nothing, and Pansy knew that if she wanted him to talk she was going to have to wait. He was like a wild animal that happened to approach you in the woods. If you showed too much aggression he would run away, and you'd be left wondering what could have been if you'd managed to learn patience. 

   Draco curled into a ball, and Pansy curled up next to him. It was cold in the dungeons, and sometimes the comfort of an old friend was even warmer than the fire. Especially when it was late and neither could sleep. 

   To everyone else, they looked like a couple. Like lovers, curling up for a moment alone. But they weren't, and Pansy knew why, no matter how well Draco thought he was hiding it. The thing is, you can't hide much from your oldest friends, even those secrets you manage to hide even from your family. But Pansy also always knew that her Draco was a coward. 

   Finally, after immeasurable moments counting the fish that swam by, he said, “Pansy?”

   “Yes, Draco dear?” she replied. It was a joke of theirs, the fake lovey nicknames. 

   “What would you say if I told you I've been thinking. And I've come to the conclusion that everything is wrong.” he continued. 

   “I'd tell you that thinking is a very dangerous pastime,” she teased, “and I'd ask you what exactly ‘everything' is.”

   “I don't know. My father. Your father. The dark Lord. Harry Potter’s green eyes. The way that I can't help feeling like I'm building a life I'll regret, and yet I can't stop it. I feel like a train running right off the tracks, Pans. What do I do?” he said. Then he turned to her, and her heart broke for the desperation, the long suffering agony, and the disbelieving fear she saw revealed in his normally ice cold silver eyes. His eyes were like the moonlight. They only showed their true nature in the dark when the sun and it's compatriots weren't out to see them. 

   Pansy thought for a long moment. She knew why this pain reflected in his eyes. She had always known her poor Draco would have a hard time accepting, once he realized what she had known for a very long time. 

   “I think you need to stop building a life you'll regret. And you might have to tear it down completely before you can build another one.” she replied, finally. 

   She saw an inkling of that cool confidence in his half smile as he said, “What kind of hypothetical life am I going to build, then?” as if trying to throw her off track. But she knew him better than that. 

   “Whichever kind you like. Perhaps the kind where we're not married, Draco dear, because you will be miserable. And I deserve love too.” it was the first time she'd come right out and said it, or just as well as said it. She saw the bravado drain out of his expression, and he started to close off, but she grabbed both of his hands and said, “And you might as well start by telling me. You've figured it out, darling, I know you have. It's just  _ me.  _ You can tell me anything. Remember that.  _ Anything. _ ”

   He looked up at her, wary at first, but he must have seen something in her warm eyes, as familiar as his childhood home, that made him believe she was telling the truth, because he said, “Fine, Pans. I'm gay. Are you happy now?” 

   And with that his facades were gone, and she hugged him before he could collapse onto her and she knew he was shaking out of both fear and relief, as she said, “ I’m so proud of you, you know, Draco dear.” and, a moment later, “I hope you know that now that I have confirmation I am never marrying you, right?”

   He laughed, his face hidden in her shirt, and said, “You know my father's going to murder me, right?” plain fear evident in his shaky tone. 

   Pansy knew that her Draco was a coward,  And she loved him, so she said, “No he won't.” in her most serious voice, “ because I will protect you. Forever and always.”

   “Slytherin honor.” was all he said in reply, but when he hugged her tighter she knew he understood. Forever and always. She will take care of him. Because he was her friend, and that was what friends were for.

   Pansy had no idea how long they sat there, wrapped up in their own thoughts, but she did know that they clung to each other like they were holding their only lifelines. Because, in a way, they were. 

   When the night was almost through, and the light began to return to the water outside, rendering the fish nothing more remarkable than ordinary, non- glowing animals, Pansy knew that their moment was almost over. She also knew that Draco would not say thank you. But she knew he felt it anyway. 

   As the sun rose and the new day dawned, Pansy remembered something peculiar she'd heard last night. She repeated it now. “What was that about Harry Potter's green eyes, again?”

   Draco looked at her in pure disbelief and surprise, and floundered a moment before muttering, “Shut up, Pans.” 

   Her laughter was loud enough to scare away the fish.


End file.
